What should someone navigating a divorce in a same-sex marriage read first?

Divorce in a Same-Sex Marriage

A reading path addressing the questions that come up most often in a same-sex couple's divorce. It covers how the process works following nationwide marriage equality, how legal parentage is established and protected, and how custody and support arrangements are decided and can later change.

1. 1 What Actually Matters · Explainer How Divorce Works for Same-Sex Married Couples Since the U.S. Supreme Court's 2015 decision in Obergefell v. Hodges required every state to license and recognize same-sex marriage, divorce for same-sex couples generally follows the same legal process as for opposite-sex couples, though a few distinct wrinkles can arise, such as how a court accounts for a relationship that began before marriage was legally available, and separate questions about parentage.
2. 2 Getting to the Same Picture · Explainer Legal Parentage for Same-Sex Couples Raising Children Even when a non-biological or non-adoptive parent has been listed on a birth certificate or has raised a child since birth, that recognition may not function as a full legal determination of parentage everywhere, which is why many family law practitioners recommend formalizing the relationship through a second-parent, stepparent, or confirmatory adoption, or a court parentage judgment.
3. 3 Getting to the Same Picture · Explainer Why "Joint Custody" Means Different Things to Different Parents Joint custody" is actually two separate concepts, legal custody (who makes major decisions) and physical custody (where a child lives day to day), and two parents can agree on the phrase while picturing entirely different schedules, decision-making arrangements, or both.
4. 4 Who Decides What · Explainer Who Actually Decides What Happens in a Custody Case In most custody cases, parents keep the authority to negotiate and settle most terms themselves, attorneys advise and negotiate on their behalf, and a judge only decides the specific issues the parents cannot resolve, based on whatever information reaches the courtroom.
5. 5 Getting to the Same Picture · Explainer What Makes a Parenting Agreement Actually Enforceable An informal agreement between parents, even one both sides intend to honor, is generally not enforceable in court unless it has been written down and either incorporated into a court order or otherwise formally adopted by the court with jurisdiction over the case.
6. 6 When Things Change · Explainer What It Takes to Modify a Custody or Support Order Most states require a parent seeking to modify an existing custody or support order to show a substantial (sometimes called "material") change in circumstances since the last order was entered, rather than simply asking the court to reconsider its earlier decision.